This Time
by ChibiNuriko310
Summary: This time was supposed to be different, but is it just a repeat. This Time revised. A NurikoHotohori fic. No yucky stuff! I went over it and corrected a few ... a lot or errors. (Now one big story, no chappys.)
1. This Time

**This Time**

_No heart please stops. You've got it all wrong he's one of my best friends. That means **I can't like him**. _

Just then I was interrupted from my semi-important thoughts. I was being tackled by a hyper active Miaka and she was babbling, "Ryuuen-Chan how are you and ..." she looked around, "why are you hiding behind a garbage can in the hall?"

I became flusteredand laughed nervously, "Nothing." She looked at me

suspiciously.

_I guess I'm not convincing._

"Riiiight." She said till she peeked over the garbage "ahhhhhhhhh" The smile on her face was a very wicked one "So you're looking at Saihitei ...** AGAIN**. Just talk to him already it's not like you never do. It's just when you're alone with him you get like this." She razed her voice alarmingly high for someone supposed to be hiding. "You're stalking him!!!" I let a slight smile slip.

Not to long ago I found out that I was a bit different form most other guys at my school. I found out I liked Sai. I told Miaka because she's like a sister to me but I think she already knew. I mean who wouldn't know I talk about him so much. What I also know is that if Miaka knew so did Taka. They were an inseparable pair. It's so cute how they are together always maybe even a little TOO cute.

I remember what happened when Genro found out. It was not to long ago, too. He was at my house running away from the woman in his family **again** when the conversation started into the subject of love interests. It didn't talk to long to get on the track of Sai and me.

Start Flashback

"You like him don't ya"

"I do not! I'm not like that!!!"

"Then why're ya wear'n a skirt over yur pants"

I blushed. It was true what he said but I **had** to deny it.

"Because it's comfortable."

"Right"

_He's smirking, he knows HE KNOWS._

And he did know but he was so ... nice about it. That was a change from his normal self. "It's ok if you are ... like that; I still accept ya you're still the same ol Ryuuen from before. Here how 'bout I get ya Dr. Pepper Tomorra' at school."

"Why?"

"Do ya want the damn Dr. Pepper or not?" He started to mumble under his breath.

I giggled, "Sure I want it ... Thanks."

Finish Flashback

Miaka stood up to make herself visible to the world and started to walk over to Sai.

_What is she doing?_

"Hey Sai" She started, "Can you walk Ryuuen home because we were going too but, I just remembered I have something to do with Taka. I **really **don't won't him to walk home alllllll alone. Pleeeeeeeeassse!!!"

I took a deep breath and stood up moving from behind the garbage VERY quickly hoping Sai wouldn't be able to tell I was even behind it. I started waving my hand at them shyly. They both turned to look at my "sudden appearance" but kept his calm expression that he always wore. "Of course I will walk Ryuuen home." A smile crossed his face as well as Miaka's even thought they were two different types.

"Great, I'll be seeing you then." Miaka skipped off waving as she went.

I felt really embarrassed but tried not to look it to much. I looked up at the face

above me to see a smiling Sai.

_Swoon Swoon_

He started walking closer to me and my heart started pounding. "Do you need to stop at your locker before we start out." he asked kindly. I shook my head, no. We headed for the entrance and went outside.

It's Fall so it's all nice and cold, I usually like this kind of weather but that didn't stop be from shivering. Sai must have noticed because he took of his jacket and held it out for me to take. I did talk it but felt a bad for take his only means of warmth.

Sliding it on I noticed that it was very snug a few sizes to large but snug all the same. I bared my nose into it and took a deep breath.

_It smells like him. He must like me just a little to let me use his jacket on such a cold day. ...Wait we're just friends and he's a gentleman. Wishful thinking._

"So, how is your World Cultures class going?"

_Silence beaker. _

With that we started to talk about almost anything; I let my emotions run wild. I was trying to act the same as I do with all of my friends except there was that overly giddy giggle that came out every so often. Before I knew it we were at my house. He led me to the door.

_Wasn't that nice of him? Huh? Huh?_

I stopped on the top step and turned to look at him.

_Ask him to stay. Ask him to stay._

"Would you like to come in side?" I asked half expected him to decline the invitation. Instead he graciously accepted saying that he could only stay for a few minutes.

I faintly remembered that no one would be home at this part of the day. We walked threw the baron halls.

My house isn't that big well **defiantly** not as big as Sai's. But I like it here it's snug and most of my other friends thinks so too. They love to come over and just hang out here. I have such a happy little family of a Mother, Father, Sister and Brother.

We sat down and started talking again; we talked for what seemed like lifetimes, until all of a sudden there was a loud crash heard from out side the door. I got up walked over to the door and slid it open to find Korin on her little bum.

_Ahhhhhhhhh my dear little sister, Korin. Your home early WHY WHY GOD WHY!!!_

"Oh Korin how long have you been there", I stopped dead freezing to the spot.

Those words I remember them from somewhere. I felt as if a cold shard of glass had pierced into my heart. My face must have shown pain because Korin looked at me with worried eyes.

"Ryuuen-Chan are you alright." She inquired getting up and stepping a bit closer to me. I nodded stupidly, my heart was pounding **so** hard and I defiantly didn't feel alright, I felt horrible. Korin smiled, "Good!" Then she turned to Sai, "can I get you guys anything to drink ... eat ... or can I just leave you two alone for a while." She started to giggle the most insane giggle you would ever hear coming form my little sister's mouth. Then she stopped, it must have been my face that scared her off, but what ever it was she started running down the hall away form me.

I turned around to see a once again smiling Sai. I don't think I have ever blushed so hard in my whole life. I walked back over to where he was sitting and I plopped down by his side like I had a few minutes ago. This time thought I was much more self conches.

_I'm going to have a talk with Korin tonight._

He was the one to start the conversation ... **again**. I was really happy about this

because the silence was really getting to me. I can't stand quiet. After about an hour of nice company he left.

_He said he's only stay for a few, but as it ended up he stayed... an hour. That was fun!_

Only when he was gone did I notice to forget his jacket which I still had on. I sighed watching him go. I mentally deciding not to stop him I'd give him his jacket tomorrow. Then I felt a familiar presence behind me, I turned around to see my dear little sister who was wearing the cutes expression ever at the realization of being caught. My lips spilt into a grin "Ohhhhh KOOORIN."

There was a small eep of surprise as I gave her a head start to run away from me and my tickles of doom.

My head hurt and a shiver ran threw my entire body when I woke up the next day. I looked over at the clock it read 5:41. This was the normal time I woke up every day. I'd had such strange dreams; I just wish I could remember it. Sitting up the cold air hit my bare arms. Even though it was Fall I always ware the same short sleeved top and thin baggy pants.

_It's so cold. _

My eyes shifted to scanned the room hoping to find some extra blankets or some thing to keep warm. My room is bight orange, yes orange with a blue ceiling and a purple stripe running around the top to separate the two colors. There were also stuffed animals every where.

My eye's fell upon Sai's jacket that I had put on the back of a chair in my room. I giggled softly drifting of into cloud 9 but not forgetting the immense coldness.

I tried to remember what my dream had been about. It was cold, not the cold like now, but really and truly COLD. I shivered just thinking about it.

I swung my legs of the bed and made my way towards the jacket. Putting it on made me instantly warmer, it felt like Sai was hugging me. I giggled happily and pranced back to my bed.

_Why would he hug you at 5:41am before school?_

I signed in defeat. Well if I got up this early might as well so some studying. I jumped up to get my book bag and dragged it back to my bed. I stat back down and pulled out my theology book.

_That's right I have a test in this today. I totally forgot about that yesterday, with Sai over and all, good thing I brought the book home. _

I opened the book and it fell on a random page I froze and my eyes instantly falling on a definition my mouth hung open.

Concubine: a woman servant that lives with a man and his wife but is not married to the man.

_Concubine huh? That would be a horrible uhhh..."job". I mean you're like some sex slave to make babies. There' no ... Love. Who would do this of their own free will? ... There's something about that word though that makes me get an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Maybe I'm hungry? _

I ran my fingers over the word, blocking it from my view but it still shown brightly in my mind. An eerie shudder ran threw my body. It's was the same kind of cold from my dream, lonely. Even the jacket wasn't helping me anymore. I slowly shut the book.

_Why is this bothering my so much ... Why? It's not like I know a concubine or I am one. I mean how could I be one, I'm a guy. _

I stood up and made my way to the mirror very unstably, looking at my reflection. I stopped about a meter away from the glass just looking, looking at what I had become...

_What am I thinking about? This is crazy. I'm the same, I'm sane. It's me Chou Ryuuen. Noting is different. Nothing has changed. _

Walking up closer to the mirror to let my forehead touch the cold hard glass. Closing my eyes; my heart is beating like mad, now. I took a deep breath opening my eyes again. There staring back at me where the saddest eye's I've ever seen there were tears running down them. I backed up the reflection didn't move it just kept on crying. It was ME, I knew it was but the hair was short and wild. Where as mine was long. The mirror me was dressed in a lovely red Chinese dress. His eyes pierced threw mine. I felt like crying too. I herd thought run threw my mind.

_I'm alone ... I'm lying ... Do I love you ...I'm going to die aren't I?_

I finally snapped out of the trance and the shock hit me. A half sob, half cry left my lips. I let my body sink to the ground. Tears over flowing and spilling down my face. "Who are you?" I choked out.

He seemed to smile slightly and his lips moved but no sound came. He slowly faded away into the mirror and left me in a wave of question.

_Like me ... those eye ... Who? Why would they think those things?_

"And than he vanished?" Asked a perplexed Miaka.

"Ya" I said, "It was me I swear."

Miaka nodded, "I understand and I believe you."

I was almost crying again. "So you want to go on a date tonight?"

This was a joke that Miaka and I kept up, we would pretend that we were going out and get Taka all confused.

"Well I would but I'm inviting everyone to a shindig at my house. Can you come?"

"Of course!!"

"Weeeeee"

I giggled. (I do that a lot) "When is it?"

"In a few minutes. That's why I called you."

"Oh, I'm on my way."

"See you then." And with that she hung up.

I did too and put the phone near my beside table. Getting up from my chair and walking over to the dresser. I picked out a set of pants and a tee shirt. I was about to leave the room when I remembered Sai's jacket. I ran over, picked it up and walked out the door.

I trotted down the stars to say good-bye to everyone and ran out the door. I walked threw the night. Miaka's house was not that far and we had been good friends since she moved here a few years ago.

I reached the house and even before I rang the doorbell Miaka came opening singing, "HIYYYYYAAAAA RYU-CHAN!!!!!"

"Hiya Miakkaa-Chaan!!!!" We started jumping up and down holding hands and when we stopped she led me inside. When inside I saw all of my other 6 friends, they all had something special about them. I walked over to a group of Sai, Genro and Taka. The other three smart ones were sitting in a corner reading.

As I walked over to the group they stopped their conversation to look at me, welcoming me to join the group. I took the jacket from my arms and handed it to Sai. "Here, thank you so much it's very warm." I smiled sweetly. I could make out Genro in the background whisper "Buncha sap happy." under his breath. Taka chuckled as I hit Tasuki sending him into a nearby wall. I laughed as well it is always so nice to have friends that love you. They were all so happy, I quickly forgot about what had happened early that morning.

_I know we have these parties a lot but I just ... I just think this one feels more ... I don't know I think I 'm going crazy. _

The conversation and festivities kept going, the movie, food and games. It was about 9:00 when I felt myself getting tired, and it was a school day tomorrow. I got up from my place on the floor, "Guys, it's been fun but I have to start heading home." Miaka's face got all sad at this statement of truth.

"Why?" she inquired. I just smiled at her and she cot on, "Your curfew?" I nodded.

"Yes my curfew. Bye everyone!" I said walking toward the door. Behind me there were choruses of:

"Bye"

"Good-Night"

"See you tomorrow."

"Miss you."

"Good-bye Nuriko"

_That last one! What was that? Nuriko?_

I turned around to see Miaka with her hands hover her mouth like she had said something wrong. It was something about the name that made my blood run cold. "Nuriko?" I asked to no one in particular. A chill ran threw my body and I felt like my head was going to explode.

Flashes of things ran threw my mind I saw a little girl who looked like me, I saw that man I had seen earlier in the day, that person was me.

_Cold ... dark ...**alone! **It's not a dream_

_Please... remember. _

_Who is that ... Who are you?_

_I'm you. _

_How can you be me I'm here?_

_Please, you know who I am! You remember don't you? Are you afraid that it will happen again? Are you afraid of what you were? _

"STOP IT!!!" I shrieked. Now totally braking down threw sobs I was able to add, "I don't want to remember you ...me? Who ever you are?" I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Miaka, Taka, Genro ... Sai all of them around me.

Pleas accept me!

Miaka was in major panic, "Ryuuen what's wrong? Is everything all right?"

The tears came even faster as I answered the best I could, "Miaka ... it's me ..." I didn't even have to force the words they just came. "It's me Miaka, Nuriko, I'm back." Threw tears I let out a smile.

Miaka hugged me tear almost in her eyes to, "We've missed you."

After my emotional back down I felt a little better, as better as you could feel after finding out you're a reincarnation of a warrior /cross dresser, I started asking questions, after things dyed down.

"So you've known all along?" I asked Miaka shakily.

She nodded, "Yep, don't you remember when we first all met, everyone was calling you Nuriko?"

"I remember but I thought it was a joke." I admitted

Then Tasuki broke in saying, "No everyone just fell in love with ya on the spot, so they came running up to ya screaming' 'Nuriko' on the top of there lungs."

"Yep" I smiled happily, nodding franticly.

Tasuki just grumbled, "Buncha weirdoes"

Tamahome looked at Tasuki and shook his head, and then he turned to me and asked, "How much do you remember?"

"Well I remember you ... Chiriko, Mits, Tamahome, Miaka of course Chichiri Tasuki and you to Hotohori." I pointed to each member individually to prove my point.

We were there for what seemed like forever talking about what I remembered and what I didn't until Chichiri looked at the clock. "Don't you have to be home my 9:00, noda? I nearly had a heart attack.

"Your right ... they'll kill me!!" I said running over to the door. Miaka stopped me on the way.

"Let Sai umm I mean Hotohori walk you home. It's to dark to go by your self." I nodded saying good-bye once more and left the house with the former emperor. This is crazy!!

I slowed down a bit as we got closer and closer to my house. When we reached my door step I stopped completely.

_I almost forgot that Hotohori-sama was there. I hope I didn't leave him._

I turned around to see him almost right behind me. I flashed him a smile but his face was not the usually, calm expression this one was more sad, "What's wrong?" I asked genuinely worried. He looked up at me flashing me a fake smile.

"Nuriko?"

"Yes, Hotohori-sama?"

"How much do you remember ... really?" His face was that of a little boy getting ready to be scolded.

_Why is he all on edge ... he's never on edge. Is he scared I'll be mad at him ... for what?_

I smile, "I remember EVERYTHING, Why?"

He gave me no verbal response but I felt something warm brush agents my lips.

_Kissed?! I'm kissed ... This is my first Kiss EVER. No one has EVER kissed me well ... EVER!!!_

It was just a brush of warmth that slowly receded. I let out a sigh and opened my eyes not even remembering when they had closed. "I'm sorry ... for that." He said quite embarrassedly.

_So he didn't mean it. ... That puts a damper on things._

But much to my glee he continued "I should have asked you first." I did a small mental happy dance.

_He kissed me he kissed me ... and he meant it._

"That's ok ..." I took another breath. "I've waited so long, but finally... Dose this mean you like me?"

Sai chuckled a bit at my change of thought or just my mood swings, "Yes that means I like you?"

A large grin crossed my face and a hugged him so tightly, really happy I didn't have my powers because if I did he's be smushed Sai. "Thank you and ..." I couldn't really get the words to come. Finally I just gave in.

_That was hard and so embarrassing, even if I know that he likes me too._

"I love you, too" I flinched at my own words ever so slightly; they had caused me so much pain over the years.

_Brain on over load. KYAAAAA!!! He lo lo lovessss me tooooooooo. Things are going to be different in this life._

Just then, as always, my sister had the worst timing in the world. The door opened and she was standing there her mouth in an O shape. She turned around most likely calling to my mother, "It's ok Mom he's here and ..." She turned to look at me "He brought home his girlfriend." Then she gave me a smile a little wave and shut the door.

Sai and I were rooted in the same position. After a few minutes both of us burst out laughing. "I should go before your mom comes out and sees the truth." I agreed "Are you sure you're ok?" he asked.

"Sure I'm ok. The Emperor walked me home and kissed me on the lips, too. What could be better?" he chuckled and gave me a peck on the cheek.

"Good night!"

"Night"

I watched him leave them went in side to tell Korin all about my adventures of the day and vice versa.

_Noting bad can spoil this. _

I woke up the next morning.

_I had the best dream I was kissed, by Hotohori-sama. ... Wait?! It wasn't a dream... I got kissed by the Emperor of Konan. _

I got up out of bed to do my normal routine of getting dressed, brushing my teeth and going down stairs. I was so happy I nearly fell down half of the stairs. I didn't even want to eat any thing. All I wanted was to go to school and see Sai. School would be like Ii always was but this time it's different, I'm Nuriko and I'm k-i-s-s-e-d.

I grabbed my book bag and headed out the bed room door. I made my way to the kitchen bidding my family farewell and ran out. I ran down the sidewalk in a happy hurry. Behind me I herd the small taps of flip flops and then a voice called out to me, "**Brotherrrrr**!!!"

I turned my head smiling to see my sister Korin running toward me but something wasn't right. I had a bad feeling. The smile on my face dropped into a frown. I looked around on the street that my sister was now crossing there was a blue jeep, defiantly going over the speed limit, coming right at her. I didn't even have time to react or even think I could just stand there and watch as it hit her. Then there was the most sickening sound I have every herd, it was a mix of the screech of tires and a thud of a body on pavement.

...

_Korin?_

...

_Korin?!_

...

KORIIIIINNNNNNN!!!!

My body is shaking and ...

_This can't be! Korin? Korin? Come on your **ok**, right? You'll get up now, right? Why did she have to die ... again?_

I felt me knees give in and I sunk to the ground. Tears blinding me and the voices from people around me were not helping. My scream must have brought people from their houses because there were quite a few of them. I even herd an ambulance in the distance.

One person came up to me putting their arm around my shoulder and saying softly, "Is this girl related to you?" I could only nod stupidly the persons voice was kind but it did not comfort me, even thought it said, "I'm sorry."

My heart skipped a beat. I had to get home to tell my mother, father and brother but they were going to take Korin away and then she would be alone, "Can I go in the ambulance?" The man who had been so nice to me nodded.

I got up shakily got in the ambulance and made by was to the back where they had laid Korin out on a stretcher. I couldn't look at her and when I took fleeting glances the tears only blinded me more then before. Finally I got the courage enough to take her hand. Upon touching it a shiver ran down my spine.

_It's cold._

...

When we got to the hospital they let Korin out first and rushed her inside telling me that I could go wait in the waiting room and call my family. They said this like it was so easy like I called my parents every day to say "Korin dyed."

_Korin dyed she's gone ... again._

I walked down the street and walked into the hospital. The smell inside was clean and well kept.

_I hate this smell. I always have._

I walked over to the pay phone and went digging in my bag for money. I pulled out more that enough. Putting them into the phone and then a lady came on "Please enter the number you wish to dial."

I pressed 321- 8470 and it began to ring. It rang two times then my brother picked up, "Chou residence." I was silent for only a moment then I found that I was at a loss for words. So I did the only ting I could do I cried. My brother must have recognized my tears because he said, "Ryuuen? ... Ryuuen what's wrong?!"

"Korin." I started not able to get the words to come from my own mouth, "Korin is ... dead." There was no answer on the other end.

_Maybe he thinks that I've gone crazy._

"Where are you now?"

"The hospital, please come quickly tell mother and father, hurry."

There was a beep as he hung up. I put the receiver back and shuddered, lifting my arms in a self hug, I was all alone for now.

_I'm all alone. Korin ..._

I broke down trying to grope my way to find a chair to sit in. Upon finding one I plopped down. Not to long after words I heard footsteps run toward me, "What happened?" I heard my mother say. Her face shown pure horror. I got up to meet them. Running to hug my mother as I began to tell my story.

"Korin was running after me and before I knew it ... she got hit by a blue jeep and the person drove away. I was so scared, I couldn't ... do anything but stand there" Tears still slid down the paths they had made for themselves, but this time I was not alone. Everyone in my family was crying now, in there own way.

The doctor came over to us and asked to see my parents they left with him, leaving my brother and I to talk and greave. After about 15 minutes my brother brought up the subject of school. "You should call to say you can't come they'll be worried about you." He let out a kind smile that almost hid his sadness but I knew him to well. I nodded and made my way over to the pay phone I hade used earlier. I reached in my bag and pulled out more change, dropping it into the machine.

I got the lady at the front desk; I told her about my absence and why. She gave me her sympathy but she didn't really mean it, they don't... they don't. They also told me that they would give one of my friends the work I would miss.

By the time I was done talking on the phone my parents were back and with my brother. I hugged them all. Feeling a little less alone than before, so loved. "Can I see her?" I asked.

My mother nodded telling me the room number. I went by myself; my brother was still in shock. The smell of hospital becoming fainter as I got closer to her room; I opened the door and saw her lying there.

It was a little scary because she looked so much like me that in the dimness of the room that you couldn't tell if it was me or her. I took a few steps closer till I was at her side; she was clean now there was no blood on her body only cuts. I sat on the side of her bed like I used to do when she was sick, at home, alive.

_She's smiling. _

I don't know how long I had been there just staring at her face and crying when I just pass out.

The next thing I remember waking up with arms holding me in a hug. I opened my eye's to see long brown hair, Sai. I tensed and he pulled back, staring into my eyes. His eyes are so almond shape and ... tears.

_He's crying? Why, it's not like he knew Korin that long. He shouldn't have to cry he should be happy. I want him ..._

"...to be happy." He said almost seeming to continue my thought. "I only wanted you to be happy, live this life happily.

I hugged him harder, but not to hard, balling by eye's out, "Everyone has to dye; I can't be protected from that."

_I love him. I love him, so much._

It finally realized I was no longer in the hospital. I was in my bed at home sitting up agent the head board. "I'm home?" I asked. Sai nodded.

"How did I get here?"

"You fell asleep and your parents told me to bring you home." He let out the kindest smile he could manage.

Sai stayed with me the rest of the day acting as a tutor and more importantly ... support. Even thought I had his comfort, my mind kept drifting back to Korin.

_Why did she die, again? Why? **Why?**_

We both sat down to a nice meal. I was still feeling horrible but I kept it in, not wanting to hurt anyone, anymore. We were alone for a long time until, Miaka it would seem, smelled the food from her house. The door bell rang and I went to answer it happily.

Upon opening the door a hyper Miaka jumped up and down, "Hi, Nuri-Chan!!! Whatcha doing ..." She looked over my shoulder, "FOOD!!!!! Can I have some?"

It felt so good to have Miaka around; she always made things change even if she didn't even know it herself.

I let out a huge genuine smile, "Of course." I motioned my hand to the table very dramatically. This made her giggle.

_My sister always giggled ... she was always happy, like Miaka._

Before I knew it Miaka was at the table eating all the food.

_Yep that's Miaka, the same old Miaka. _

"So why weren't you at school today?" Miaka asked me, after she had gotten done with her plate and seconds. I stopped what I was doing to look at her with my "deer in headlights" stare.

"Wha ...what are you talking about? I just ... just didn't feel well." I stuttered, not wanting to hurt her feelings, she should be happy in this life. I mean, for what happened to her back in the book.

Miaka gave me a confused look, but at least it wasn't an unhappy one.

_I hope ... I hope she'll just leave it at that, please._

My prayers were answered in the form of my own voice saying, "Hori-sama can you talk with Miaka, I'm gonna go get something to drink." He nodded, I rose from the table and left them to talk about god knows what.

I walked into the kitchen to get something to drink. My mouth was so dry all of a sudden. After I was done, I walked over to the sink. There was a knife. I set down my glass carefully and picked up the new object. I looked at it for a long time, thinking of what to do with it.

Before I knew it my one hand was around my long purple braid, and the other holding the sharp metallic object. I razed them to meat each other, only slightly, not even cutting a hair.

This is my life that I was willing to chop away. I felt sort of guilty, about Korin's death; I could have done something like:

A) Jumped in front of the car

B) Waited for her at home

c) Not been so lost in thought

D) all of the above

_What ever happened, happened but I couldn't just forget her. How could I? _

My hair shows all the years I have lived. With out any more thoughts, I closed my eyes and let my hand slip.

I opened my eyes, it was funny. I didn't feel any different; it was like nothing even happened. I looked down at my one hand to find the only prove there was, a braid. Suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks. Miaka and Sai are going to see the difference; they would **have** to notice it.

I looked about franticly, only to decide to go up stairs. Maybe I could find a hat or something. I escaped threw the back way of the kitchen and ran up the stairs. When I reached the top my legs felt like rubber. I knew I didn't have a hat in my room, I don't really think I've ever owned a hat. I always borrowed from my sister, the same thing I intended to do now. I quietly ran into my sister's room. It was the same as it had always been, with its smell and its color, the only difference was that my sister would never be in it again.

I started walking towards Korin's dresser. I pulled open the first drawer on the left side. There inside was red book.

_Could this be Korin's Diary?_

I became intrigued by it, so I opened to the first page. I know it's bad to read someone else's diary but I think she wouldn't mind. My eyes skimmed the pages, until I got to the newest entry, it was today's.

I began to read aloud:

Dear Diary,

I'm so sorry I haven't written. There's been no time. I just wanted to tell you about a strange dream I had last night. I was in ancient China, every one I knew was there but I mostly remember Ryuuen. I remember ... walking and then I saw him up ahead. I was soooooo happy ...

(She drew a really cute picture of herself in happy mode.) I giggled.

So I ran after him. He turned around smiling at me, but his expression quickly changed. The next thing I remember there was an old hag floating over by me. She was ugly, but nice; she told me I was dead. I was still alive though ... in Ryuuen. I think it's a sign, I don't think I'll ... I have to go Ryu's leaving for school.

Ja ne

Korin

A drop of wetness fell upon the page; I razed my hand to feel tears. I was crying again.

I must have not been to alert because when I looked up finally, I found my self to be face to face with Sai. I almost let out a scream but I forced myself to hold it in. I looked over to the right side of me to see Miaka standing there. They both had there own sets of tears.

_How could I have done this to the, I never meant to hurt any one._

This only made my tears intensify.

I herd Miaka slowly move closer to me, "Nuri ... Nuriko wa... what happened?" This time I knew I had to tell her. I was just not fair to make her be sad because of me, but it was also unfair to leave her out.

"Ko ... Korin dyed." I let the tears flow; there was nothing I could do about them. "I thought this time would be different." I choked out.

Miaka smiled and moved closer to me, "Your hair ... like before." She let her fingers play with the ends of each lock of hair.

I tried to smile, "I'm sorry, I guess I'm just tired ... and crazy"

I felt my legs give way, and I drifted off, falling into Sai's arms.

I woke up the next morning feeling very relaxed and warm. I felt arms encircling me; when my eyes were allowed to flutter open to find myself face to face with Sai, again. He looked so peaceful, almost like a child. His arms were around my waste. There was a very warm sensation in me; it was not unlike the one I felt when we first kissed.

_Sigh I'm going to go all fluttery again aren't I? ... Yep! That kiss was almost like a pact between our souls, which said we would never be apart, like our last life. Sigh_

Just then I felt another pair of arms wined around my neck. I let out a small yip, but memories started flooding back.

_Korin,_

_My hair cut, _

_And then_

_Out like a light._

It's was Miaka. All I could do was lie there motionless, so as not to walk them up, and get smothered in hugs.

From the one side of my room I herd a creek as the door opened. My heart started to pound a little faster, it could be anyone. I really had no idea who it was until the figure spoke, "What the hell? This's some three some ya got going on here Nuri. I'm surprised at you."

"Tasuki?!"

I herd him let out a chuckle as he started to walk towards me. He stopped right behind Sai so I could see him. He wore a smirk on his face but when he got a good look at my hair his face fell. "What the hell'd ya do to ya're hair?"

I felt bad for the shock I caused him and I blushed trying to make up something, "uhhh, it started to get in my eyes."

"Like hell it was."

"It was!!" I tried to protest only accomplishing to make both Miaka and Hotohori stir, so I calmed down a bit.

Genrou snorted, "what ever you say. Ya loved that hair though." There was a moment of silence until he finished. "Ryu ... are you ok?"

It took a while to realize what he was talking about.

_How the heck did he know?_

It's not like I had forgotten it was just I was feeing a lot better then yesterday. "Fine." I said flashing him a genuine smile.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Genrou?"

"What?"

"How did you get in the house?"

Genrou's face smushed up, which made me giggle. "Ya're crazy brother let me in." He responded.

I shook my head, "My brothers not the phro maniac." I have always stood up for my big brother.

"Hey that was only once..." Tasuki said trying to defend himself.

"Once ... in this life ...YET." I let a laughed ring out, this time though I was a bit too loud and Hotohori was slowly dragged out of his sleep. My eyes darted to his face just in time to see his open. I let a warm shine show it's self. "Morning", I said.

His eyes flashed concern as he let one of his hands raze up to my hair, brushing it through. "Are you alright now?"

_I think I'm going to explode if someone says that one more time._

"Ya" I nodded happily. Our faces were abnormally close.

_Kiss him. KISS HIM._

I went with this thought and leaned forward. My lips pressing agent some thing cold, so I pulled back almost immediately to see my self not face to face with Sai but face to face with a notebook. The notebook was pulled away, curtsy of Genrou.

He had interesting face on, "I accept ya and all, but right now if ya did that, in BED ... I'd puke." I giggled. Leave it up to Genrou to change the mood in a second. "Why don't we all head down stares to eat, huh?"

I nodded trying to get up but there was something holding me back. Miaka! By this time Sai was already standing by Genrou. They gave me a funny look, and I believe it would be a bit comical. I tried to pry myself from her gently but it was very hard. Every time I tried she would strengthen her grip.

My strength was weakened when I was born in this world. It was weakened ... a lot, actually. "Help." was the only thing I could manage. Sai moved closer to Miaka on the other side of the bed, but Genrou just stood there laughing like a mad man at this new predicament.

Finally after much physical persuasion she let go. I was happy until I looked over at her sleeping face, which was now wide awake. She giggled, "I fooled you all ... Hehehe."

She continued to laugh and one by one everyone joined in with her fun. After her little joke was played, we were able to go downstairs. There I met with my family. Everyone sat down to eat and talk.

_We are all one big happy family. _

After we ate my parents and brother went to work. They still had to cover payments, nothing had changed. Well not in the eyes of there employers anyway. My parents worked at a nice little shop. It sold clothes and little nick knacks. Occasionally I worked there to, nonstop in the summer time. My brother also worked their part time, but after work he would go to school. He works for the pleasure of it.

So I was left with Miaka, Sai and Genrou. Out of my entire friend these three were the ones I trusted the most. Miaka was like a spare little sister and Sai was just Sigh ... Sai. We had known each other for a long time, as friends, and then I just got a HUGE crush on him, now look at this, he likes me too. Last but not least Genrou ... Genrou what can I say about him, he is a newer friend to me but it feels like I've known him much longer as a friend.

After everyone was done with the meal I went to clean the dishes, Sai helped clear the table, Genrou sat down to supervised and Miaka ate more. From in the kitchen I herd her call out to me, "Ryu? Could we have a meeting here at your house? I don't think something's right."

This confused me greatly but I didn't ask questions, her voice wouldn't allow it, "sure." I said stepping out of the kitchen just in time to see Miaka get up from her seat and retreat to the phone.

_What's this now? _

A few hours latter I got my answer. Every one of my seven friends gathered together. Miaka, Tamahome, Hotohori, Tasuki, Chiriko, Mitsukake and Chichiri. After everyone was in the living room Miaka stood up moving to the center of it. She looked unusually tense and lost in thought.

"I think ... I think things are going to be ...," she seemed to look for a word to describe how she felt, "Not the way they should. We should all be careful or else I think it will just be a repeat of last time."

At first I didn't know how to respond, I know what she's talking about, but I really didn't want to know. If this was so inevitable was there may not be a way to fix it

We all stared at Miaka, her hands were fidgeting as she went on, "Last night I had a dream, and it was more like a vision. In it Taiitsu-kun was there and she was telling me that when lives change ... they CHANGE."

This really made little since to anyone. Miaka seeing this continued a little light heartedly, "It's like in math, something about when you change the sign you flip the fraction ... We are the fraction."

I tried to stifle a giggle.

_Quite you, this is serious!!_

Taka moved toward his girlfriend and put his arm around her, "Maybe it was just a silly little dream ..."

She looked at him her face completely and utterly serious, "It was not a dream, taka, I know it wasn't." And the world fell silent once more. "It wasn't..." Miaka protested meekly.

"How do we know that every thing is "different" from last time, not that I don't trust you, it's a bit of a strange concept." Chiriko said.

Miaka looked at him, "I know it is but I just ... I just can't explain it." I knew Miaka was telling the truth, but there was still one doubt in my mind so I voiced it,

"Miaka, if it's supposed to be different then why did Korin die? That was the same so last time, right?" My voice was soft and I could feel Hotohori move closer to me, embracing me. I felt kind of bad for making every one feel like they have to protect me.

Miaka looked at me, her eye's widened noticeably but they soon went back to there normal size and she looked down at her hands, "I don't know, maybe last time she was still there looking over you because that was a story. This is life though, this is real ..."

My heart skipped about five beats.

_She's really gone isn't she? This time I can't see her when I die I can't be with her in the after life because this is none._

Everyone was silent; I felt all eyes on me. It was as if they where waiting for me to say something ... to speak but I couldn't. Finally and to my relief Sai broke the silence. "If thing will be the same from here on in dose that mean..." He was cut of by a very intrigued Chichiri.

"Will they all die again, like last time?"

Silence.

"It would look that way."

"Will we all die by the same circumstances?" Chiriko asked I could see him shaking slightly. The world went quiet again.

Miaka tried to keep the tears in when she nodded but you could still see them trying to burst out, "Taiitsu-kun ... "She started, "She told me that there were only two ways to go about it."

Everyone was on the edge of there seats in anticipation, well at least I was anyway. "First, is that we can ride it out and hope for the best but there's a HUGE chance that a few of us may die." Miaka silently looked over at Mits, Chiriko, Sai and I, she looked at us like teachers do when they say some failed the test and you know you did because they're looking at you. "Second, that we try to alter it but there are no grantees."

I feel into Hotohori's embrace, numbly. All the while my brain was running wild with memories of death.

_No don't leave me in that cold place; I'd rather be here in these arms. Soon both of us can be died and we will be apart, cold and alone, I wont ever be able to see Miaka, Tasuki, and Taka or any of them again. It's not like last time where I can look over them, this time I can't come back._

I couldn't feel my lips move but they must have because I herd my own voice say in a whisper, "What can we do to try to stop it?"

Chiriko was still visibly shaking, Mitsukake was looking at the floor, Sai was hugging me and I was being hugged. Miaka let her tears out, the sound seemed so distant but it was there. She clutched onto Tamahome.

Miaka herself not being able to speak at the moment drove Tamahome to do it for her, he held his girlfriend tighter, "I don't know, I think we'll just have to see how things go for a while. If anyone sees any changes say something." He looked at everyone in individually but did not make eye contact. "Nuriko is the one we have to worry about at this present moment. He was the first to die."

For the second time that day I felt eyes looking over at me, making me feel highly uncomfortably.

Chiriko being the cute little boy he is questioned, "How should we help him, if I remember correctly Ashitare ki... killed him," He notably stuttered at the word "killed", "How can there be a wolf man in this world?"

Chiriko was right I mean, number one how many wolf men are there wandering around the city, number two are there any wolves period romping around the city?

"Korin died from similar circumstances to her past life, didn't she?" Mitsukake asked.

"Yes"

"Than it will most likely be the same for all of us."

"How can we protect them with our powers ... we have none?"

The same type of discussion went on for most of the day and afternoon. Slowly though one by one every one left. Until it was only Mitsukake, Sai and I. My head hurt from the conversation and I had gotten very tired.

_Its only 3 pm you should be up. Get up!!!!_

I walked both Mits and Sai to the door at around 3:45 pm. Mits drove away about 10 minutes latter, then turned to face one of Sai's worried looks. I smiled simply and before he could even get one word of "Are you ok" out I said, "Don't worry about me so much, you can be killed by a mugger with a jack knife ...

_I guess that would be the equivalent to his death in this world._

...for me you would need a wolf. Which do you think would be more suspicious a blond guy or a wolf man, huh?"

Sai let out me a chuckle. It razed my heart to hear someone laugh. He leaned in and gave me a peck on the nose, "It's good to know someone's happy." I nodded. I was really doing better now.

I motioned for him to leave with my hand, "Now, you should be on your way, if my parents knew I had such a big "Party" I'd be scolded."

He left me with an elegant wave, I watched him get into his own car and drive of. I finally closed the door when I could see him any more. I rested my back agent the door and allowed my body to slide to the ground, letting out a huge sigh.

_I'm in love._

I got up giggling at how love sick I actually was, and went of to do some of my missed home work.

_Cold? How come it's so cold? _

I opened my eye's to see the darkness of my room.

_I thought I got over that whole cold and alone thing? Well maybe not with this new threat but, now at least I have love ... finally._

I got up slowly, my whole body felt so small and enveloped by the darkness of the room. I looked over sleepily to my clock but nothing shown on it. I put my hand on the bed hoisting my self up and onto my feet.

My body clumsily moved forward. I really had no clue where I was going. I waited for myself to bump into something but I never did. It was odd.

_There has to be something here? My dresser, my Mirror ... anything._

After quite a short distance I stepped in something. It was wet and felt as cold as the room. It almost felt like I was stepping into melted ice cream. It was to dark to know what it really is. I kept walking on; the liquid seemed to get warmer and warmer with each step. Each and each step became harder and harder to move as well, my legs felt like they were getting heavy.

Suddenly I stopped.

_I can't move dear god why? ... I'm getting scared._

I closed my eyes.

_This is the part were who ever is in the shadows will kill me. Why is it always the perky one's who die first._

It was a funny feeling. Almost like someone I knew was there but they could not help ... would not help ... needed my help. I shivered and opened my eyes. It was bright now; I looked down at what had caused this wet coldness.

My eyes widened as I let out an ear piercing scream.

My eyes shot open the same time I sat up, my hand went right to my heart. My breath coming out in long pants. I looked around to see if it was only a dream.

_A dream, it **was** only a dream. That couldn't happen! How could it? I mean ... I remembered this dream, I usually don't but out of all of them it HAD to be this one._

I let my head fall back onto the pillow. I just lied there, trying to fall asleep again, but bad memories pledged my mind. Visions of blood under my feet.

_Suzaku! Help me, please. fall asleep... forget._

After about an hour I was able to drift away, my dreams untouched. I woke up the next morning, it was still dark out, I moved up out of bed and onto my feet.

_That couldn't have been a premonition of what will happen._

Even if my mind said this, in the back of my sub conches I knew it was not true. I had a sick feeling in my stomach.

_First Korin now ... now ... Hotohori? Why dose it have to be this way? What have I done, I don't think I deserve this much pain, do I? I don't think anyone deserves this._

Red the color of love, of Suzaku; Red the color of blood, of pain.

I felt tears run down my face but I was smiling. I was not happy, just smiling. To someone who would just randomly walk in my room it would seem like I had lost my mind, with no hopes in return. I tried to reach up to fidget with my long braid only to find it gone.

I felt ... nothing. If at that moment I was to die I wouldn't care, it was just so lonely. I got up onto my feet and started to move. My legs shaking hesitantly every step I took.

I knew I'd be fine now, it was getting brighter out so I could see where I was going.

_Lonely ... I was lonely but yet so were many of my friends. Everyone ended up with a happy ending, or almost._

I thought back as I reached the dresser, leaning agent it. My tears drying on my face.

It happened so long ago when I was reincarnate as a girl, Ko Reishun. I guess that was supposed to be my "actual" happy ending. Noting "perfect" could really compare to what I had now, but last time came pretty close.

Start Flashback

"Mother so you think that this fabric will be enough to make the dress." Asked a very energetic youngster. Her mother looked at her lovingly.

"Yes yes Reishun I'm sure of it."

They kept walking on looking at the different goods in the market place. Then something caught the young girl's eye. A boy around the same age as herself passed by her, he was handsome and ... well handsome, but there was something about him that made her heart pound.

As they passed eyes met and heads turned. They both stood that was for quite sometime, until the boy's mother led him away.

_That face, hair ... everything, is so familiar._

She watched as he went.

_I wonder if I'll ever see him again?_

They did meat again, and became long distance friends. They both changed as they grew but, there feelings for each other changed. The girl still loved him and he was oblivious and when he finally realized his own love for her ... bliss.

End flashback

It was true every time except this time Hotohori-sama had either been oblivious rejected me or both. That's in the passed though all that matters now is that he loves him, and nothing can change tha...

_You moron, it can change and it will, wishful thinking. I want us to be together for a while ... alone. ... Maybe I can ask him out on a date. _

My mood did a complete 180 and I started to get giddy, again. I looked over at my clock, 8:00, he should be up. I trotted my way to the phone, picking it up to dial his number.

_A date. A date. I'm going on a date._

I donned a strange looking top; it had a star on it. And normal black fuzzy pants running around my room like a mad person. I went to the mirror to do my hair in its usual braid; finding it cut I settled for it just being brushed.

A few minutes ago I had called my, supposed "boyfriend" because I felt lonely and asked to meet him ... out of the house. This was defiantly a date. I giggled at my own enthusiasm.

_I don't care about some crazy dream cuz I'm goin' on a date. _

This would be the first time we would be together, alone, and out of the house after I knew about ... well me. I skipped my way down the steps almost colliding with my brother. He gave me a perplexed look and asked, "Why are you so happy today and don't tell because its Sunday cuz I won't believe it."

I avoided him spinning around once, giving him a playful wink, "I won't say." And with that I retreated leaving him to come up with his own theories.

I don't have a car and I usually caught a ride with my brother but I really didn't want him to be there so thus ... I walk.

Sai dose not live to far away but far enough. It could be dangerous, especially in the circumstances but love is supposed to triumph over all evil so I'll be fine.

After a long while of what seemed like pointless walking I arrived at Sai's house. It was quite roomy, to but it in better terms his house is as big as mine is small. Even though it was big I don't think it could be called a mansion or castle or as big as his was when he was the emperor. One of the other things that made Sai's house look big was that there was no one living in it besides him.

Sai's parents had died when he was very small, I really don't know of what and if he won't tell I won't ask.

I reached the door and positioned my hand over the door bell/knocker/front door noise making thing. But before I could hit it the door opened and there stood Hotohori -Sama as beautiful as ever ... considering how early it was.

"Good morning Nuriko." He smiled at me with a wide smile. The Hotohori I USED to know way waaaay back when would never smile or even look in my direction, but this time is different.

I gave him a mirror image smile back, "Morning" We just stood there for the gods know how long, looking at each other with the same goofy smile on our face.

Finally I took a step forward jumping up one of the stares to be on the same one as him. Finding hardly enough room, I tried jumping back a step but I couldn't, I blinked once ... twice, I finally noted that there was an arm around my back supporting me.

We were waaaay to close, but I felt so loved so I stayed right there where it was not dark or cold. I cuddled into his arms.

_He's strong in this life ... not that he wasn't before, come to think of it I was never in his arms last time. So how would I know, well what ever, I used to be stronger than him. _

All so suddenly I herd his voice ask, "Are you ok?" A let out a slight growl, my one ear on his chest.

_Sure, end the moment with your questions of well ... question ness. ..._

I looked up from my nice happy cuddle spot to answer him, "Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" He razed his eye brow in question and I puffed up in my own defense. Finally he chuckled, stepping back to give me more room, letting his hands fall to his sides.

Finally he gave up and began, "So where would you like to go?" I smiled, felling very happy that I had won.

I shrugged, "We can go for a walk ... maybe?" He smiled, it's not like he stopped.

"Of course."

That began our day out. I liked walking with him ... in public ... holding hands. KYAAAA, I screeched mentally, who wouldn't like that.

When I talked to him it was weird, or at least I thought so, because hey I'm still Ryuuen but I'm also Nuriko. I was just some boy who was in love with his best friend only to find that I had loved him all my life ... lives and he loved me too.

We would ketchup on stuff that happened, or stuff we still had left bottled up inside form our past lives. Things like the joined life we led when I was Reishun and also the matter of Houki and how I had known her. Don't get me wrong I loved Houki as a sister but I couldn't help bet be a little jealous of her.

Around 5 we stopped to get something to eat, which was a good thing because I was getting a bit hungry. I usually don't eat anything until dinner but all the walking made me hungry earlier.

It was around dusk when we started to walk home. It was funny the whole day no one asked anything, or gave us weird looks. I mean where I like it's not every day you see two guys holding hands walking down the street, talking about there reincarnations. Do I really look that much like a girl?

In fall so it gets dark so early. Halloween has already passed but there were still the remnants of the celebration on the bushes and houses like spider webs and lights.

The street lights were now on and Sai, being the good person that he is, started to walk me home. Suddenly,I felt an arm wrap around my stomach, it was strong like Hotohori-sama's but way to rough to be his. Plus he already had his hand in mine. I allowed a squeak of surprise to seep out, only to have my mouth covered.

That's when I realized that something was not right. From surprise I let my hand slip out of his, which was not the best idea, but my brain couldn't work that fast.

I felt the arms pull me away from the light of the street lamps and into the darkness of an ally. I could see the look on Sai's face and could see his lips move to my name but his words fell on def ears. He began to follow us into the darkness.

_Why now, everything was going so well? _

Then a thought caught my mind. I felt myself brake out into a cold sweet.

_Is this ... is this how I'm going to die; I'm going to be raped or just killed or both. I won't be able to see anyone after this. It will be over ... for good._

It would be a lie to say that tears were not running down my face. It would be a lie to say I wasn't scared out of my little mind.

_It's even dark in this ally and if I die I won't be able to see Sai. The last image I have of him will be him calling my name with a terrified look on his face. I don't want him to hurt; I want him to be happy. _

The arms threw me down, quite violently, and I hit my head off of solid earth. It hurt, but I was fine. I herd foot steps running in my direction, and I knew they were Sai's.

_This was my chance to run to him so we can leave and go home and ... and..._

Before I could finish my thought's I herd the voice above me mutter, "Shit, shudda went the otha way." then there was a sound, I couldn't really put it with an action but soon I felt it's after shock.

A sharp pain shot threw one of my legs. It stung like if some one would talk a giant peace of paper and slide it quickly across my leg.

He had a knife. I grabbed the wound. It wasn't too deep but just enough. I tried to stand, wincing in pain.

That's when I herd the first blows of a fight brake out between Sai and the man. There were sickening sounds as they hit each other violently. They were moving around, I could tell by the foot steps and hits.

The blood still came from my leg and now I could feel it dripping down my pant leg. I felt so helpless just standing there, but what could I do? I tried to move but the pain just shot up my spine. I could hear them getting closer and closer to where I was standing.

I don't know how but I just knew that the guy who had pulled me away's back was turned to me. He was with in my reach so I gave him a punch in back of the head with all the strength I had, which was not a lot.

The fighting stopped between him and Sai and he turned around, "Otha the way ya bitch."

The next few seconds were a blear I felt the man's fist jab into my cheek and for some reason it didn't hurt. My head hit the ground this time with so much force that I felt my self slip into blackness. The last thing I herd was Sai's vice, "Nuri?!?!" Then just black.

When I regained conches ness it was still dark out. The pain was all starting to come back in a rush. I didn't die, I'm still here. Things were still but a blurry and I tried to recall everything that happened.

_Date ... walk ... home ... fight ... HOTOHORI!!_

Despite the pain I shot up getting up on shaky legs, "Sai?!?!" I called out, but there was no answer. If he was playing around, it wasn't funny. But why would he play like this.

_Maybe he fell asleep by me and and he just doesn't hear me._

I started to walk, no scratch that, limp forward. I couldn't see in the darkness so I limped on blindly. None of the pain mattered to me. It was not long before my leg became tired, and I slowed.

Right before I was about to stop my foot hit something, and before I knew it I was lying on a body. I felt a lump grow in my thought, my heart pounding like crazy. I brought a shaky hand to touch cold skin. I pulled my hand away, feeling tears run down my face.

My fingers were wet with a thick liquid, by this time my tears were coming out in sobs.

_Blood ... My dream. This this can't be ... Hotohori-sama._

I couldn't move just sit there looking petrified. I didn't know what to do. My heart felt like it would jump out of my chest and attack me.

_He's alive he's just got to be._

That's what my mind was telling me and I was hoping that it wasn't wrong.

_I was supposed to be the one to die not him; I was the one who was supposed to be hurt ... not him. What's his dieing supposed... _

My sobs coming out even harder; the light of morning was coming so I could see, almost, the tears were blinding me.

_He needs help, but I don't want to leave him here all alone. I know how it feels to die knowing you're alone. _

My prayers were not left unheard. I herd the faint tap of high healed shoes coming down the street; I lifted my head in time to see a woman around my age walk bye. From what I could see which was not much she was wearing a light green dress, and her hair was done up, possible short, the color was a slightly lighter purple that mine.

I thought she would just pass me bye but I was wrong, I herd her gasp and the clipping of her shoes coming extremely close. "What's the matter, are you alright?" I nodded then pointed to my un conches boyfriend.

"He's not though." I choked out only after I had said it did I realize how weird I sounded.

She nodded, and started to dig into her purse and pulled out a cell phone. The phone was covered in smiles. She dilled a number and began to talk, "Hello ... yes ... in an ally on Court right Street ... it's by a small business ... thank you."

I was slowly regaining my sight, and I looked at the girl. I was just happy to have someone help no matter whom.

_I'm so helpless._

The girl had on a kind smile, her eyes a green shade of Jade. She also had long lilac hair that was done up into a lose bun. All and all she was beautiful. I'm not saying this to compliment myself or anything but she ... looks a lot like me. We could be twins; you would need to do a double take to tell us both apart. The only difference was the color of our hair and eyes, and that mole that I have. Ok so we might not look all alike but there was something.

_Houki?!?!?!_

She shifted her eyes over me, as if inspect me, she stopped at my head again and said, "You know, you look a lot like someone that I knew a long time ago."

I smiled the best I could, "My name's Korin." It was fun to see her mouth hang open in shock.

_Come on how could you forget what I look like. We spent all that time together in the inner seraglio, dreaming what it would be like to be empress. You actually make it to that position._

"Korin ... as in Nuriko, Korin?" She asked a bright smile lining her lips.

_Hehehe good ol' Houki._

I let out a sad smile, "Yep, that's me." She moved to hug me but hit the cut on my leg. The cut was, by this time, trying it's best to heal. The disruption in the skin made me hiss in pain. Houki immediately jumped back muttering her apology, "I'm so sorry, here ..." She looked threw her purse once more, this time pulling out a scarf.

_Wow purses come in handy!_

I was about to reach out for it but she got to my leg first. After she was done tying the not, she looked up at me and that at the body I was next to. "Korin, what happened?" I opened my mouth to answer but before I could get the sound out I herd the faint howl of the ambulance.

It would look like Houki did too because she asked, "Can you stand?" I nodded. She stood up gracefully holding her hand out so I could balance. I took hold of it and shakily stood.

My one leg felt fine but the other was heavy and it hurt when I leaned on it.

_I'm so week, I can't even ... I wanted to help ... Why?_

The Ambulance pulled up right next to the ally. I felt my heart rate pick up again when they picked up Hotohori-sama on a stretcher, putting him in the back of the Ambulance.

"Can I go?" I asked the driver.

He looked at me like he was going to say no but then he noticed the scarf around my leg, acting as a tourniquet, and he nodded. He also let Houki come with me. They drove of with us in the back, I couldn't look at Hotohori-sama's un conches body, this reminded me of the last time I was in an Ambulance.

Tears once again threatened to spill down my cheeks.

_First Korin ... and now Hotohori-sama for good, both of them are NEVER coming back._

It didn't take to long until we got to the hospital. They took Sai away from me and I was left to jump with Houki out of the back of the ambulance. The pain seemed to be going away slowly.

Houki walked up to me. Giving me a little friendly hug, it felt warm. I felt tears running down my face and my body shake.

_I'm not shaking!?!_

I herd the muffled sobs coming from behind me. Houki is crying too. She chocked out barely audible words, "I ... I'm s...sooo so...rry!! If anyone deserved a reward for what they have had to go threw, you take second place followed behind Miaka and Tamahome."

"..."

Houki paused after I was speechless, and she continued her tears slowing, "I ... loved him just as I loved his brother... but he ... he always loved you ... always."

_He loved me ... and now ... it's my fault, if you weren't such a little kid, who always needed protection then maybe you'd be able to help him fight._

This also reminded me of the sympathy that my teachers gave me when Korin died, but there was one difference, with Houki it was genuinely sympathy for me. Where as my teachers were well for... teaching, they didn't care it's not in there job description.

"Houki?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you" I wrapped my arms around her, felling so small, but not alone.

After about a few moments we finally parted and started on out way to the main hospital building.

I asked them right when I came in if I could go to see Sai, but they told me that when he woke up or if anything changed they would call me. This made me feel a little better but not much.

No one asked about my leg and I didn't tell them. The way Houki tied it and where it was on my leg made it look more like an odd fashion statement then an injury.

There really isn't much to do in a hospital so we sat there gabbing about lives and dreams. Finally after much waiting I heard my name being called, "Ryuuen Chou" I stood up so fast that I almost fell over. And I went to the main desk as quick as I could.

I held my breath and crossed my fingers hoping to hear good news. And Good news is what I got.

"I'm Ryuuen."

"Yes" They looked down on there paper, "Your friend is awake and well, he's in room 683 on the 6th floor."

I yelled my thanks as I happily wobbly/hoped to Houki to tell her the good news. "Houki, they say he's ok and we can see him. She shared in my joy as we went up an elevator to the 6th floor.

_He's Alive and I'm going to see him ... alive. We all survived his attack, he's safe. _

6th floor ...room 681... 682 ... 683. I opened up the door to see him sitting there as normal as ever. I was relieved to see his eyes, open.

_His eyes ... something's not right, hehe you're just seeing things. He's alive what could be bad because he's alive?_

I jumped on him tears of joy streaming down my face; like I had done earlier yesterday I curled my head into his chest, "I'm so happy!!" I pulled black wanting to give him a kiss but I stopped dead.

_His eyes... so confused almost scared._

"Hoto...?!?"

I knew it was coming; this was the sort of thing that happened in bad fan fictions. He opened his mouth to ask the question that I had been sadly waiting for, "Who are you, who's Hoto?"

I could felt my legs give way under me; I fell to the side of the bed. I could hear Houki intake a harp breath. Her shoes clanking toward me as she moved, my eyes did not shift from his. Warm tears running down my face.

_This is not a game and you have to say something. He doesn't remember you; think about what he had to go threw when you didn't remember him as Hotohori. But now he doesn't remember me period._

I finally broke the gaze and used one of my hands to dry my eyes. I let my body rise of the ground.

_You have to be strong, he was._

"Hello, I'm Chou Ryuuen. You got in to some fight." I motioned over to Houki. "Houki called an ambulance, how are you feeling."

He gave me a warm inviting smile, but it was different...more distant, "Thank you ... Ryuuen??"

I nodded.

_Yep, that's defiantly something to be happy over; he can say your name. ...Be nice, he has amnesia, or something._

His eyes then shifted over to Houki, "Thank you too." She bowed a little. Reflex maybe.

I looked at Houki as well; she had a worried look on her face, as she stared back at me. "Can I borrow your cell phone?" I asked politely. Houki looked to her purse and handed me the smiling device. I thanked her walking out of the room.

I walked down the hall a bit and dialed Miaka's number hoping for the perky girl to pick up.

Miaka and I had a little ... club I guess you'd call it. In this club she's my garble. Her name Spunky, the name coming from how spunky she is. She drew me a picture of this "Spunky". It had brown/red fur like her hair, and a party hat that covered one of its ears. This made it the one eared gerbil. We had good laughs about Spunky. Once I even wrote a report on her.

The phone rand once ... twice... "Hello Yuki residence, Miaka speaking"

"Hi Miaka." I said in a dismal tone, she immediately caught this.

"Ryu-chan what's wrong?"

I couldn't hold back anymore, I can't be happy when I'm not. I had had enough of it in my past life and I didn't need it now. I let tears explode down my cheeks, "Miaka ... Hotohori-sama doesn't remember us!!!!"

I said this, not even thinking the effects it would have on Miaka, which was pretty stupid of me. There was silence on the other line then, "How long before he gets it back?"

_Sure ask me the questions I don't know. _

"I don't know I'll have to ask ...I'm sure ... he's just got to..."

"Ryu?"

"Yes?"

"..."

_Silence is never good. Not a good thing at all. _

"Miaka?!?!" This was starting to scare me, something was just not right. Miaka's never like this. She would usually be talking about Tamahome or how Hotohori-sama is or some thing.

I heard Miaka draw a deep breath, "It's Mits he's REALLY sick, but he won't go to the doctors. I was there and I saw the pain he's going threw. Ryu I'm freaked out, you're all leaving me again."

_First Hotohori-sama now Mits ... I could be next. I mentally shook myself Don't think about that right now._

"Miaka no one will leave you, I know we don't have powers but were strong, don't worry." I tried to smile even thought I myself was tearing.

Miaka sniffed on the other line.

I wanted to talk with Miaka More but I heard a clip clop coming toward me. I turned around to see Houki. When Houki came to stand by me, I looked at her, she had a smiling face on and it looked like she was trying to tell me something.

"Oh and Miaka, I met Houki on the way."

Miaka let out a sad sign, "I'm sorry Ryu-Chan I have to go, I want to help Mits and Tamahome convince him. Talk to you later."

"Bye" She clicked of and I was left with Houki, dancing around happily.

"Guess what?" Houki asked me happily.

I was now super confused, "What?"

Houki grabbed my hand and practically dragged me into Sai's room.

_Yes, ok Houki has lost it. Sai can't be better already? What's getting her all hyper and happy like this?_

Sai was still sitting up in bed he still had the same face on from before. Conforming to me that he was in fact, still confused as to who he was. I turned to Houki a bit confused my self.

After a little while I turned to Hotohori-sama, maybe hoping to get an answer from him, "Yeeeess?!" I asked.

Hotohori-sama looked at me just as happy as ever as he began to speak, "I told Houki this and she went running I hope I didn't offend her in any way."

I looked over at Houki who had the biggest grin on ever, "You did not, pleas tell Ryuuen here what you said."

I looked back over at Hotohori-sama, our eyes locked, "I don't really remember much..." he began, "but fore some reason I thought your name was Nuriko." He chuckled and broke eye contact, "Crazy, huh?"

I froze ... time froze but my heart didn't instead it raced on at the speed of light.

_I want to hug him ... but I can't he'll just think I'm some freak. _

Tears did start to come, any thoughts of being thought of as a freak would make anyone cry. I had to tell him ... He has to know, he might not believe it though.

I opened my mouth and whispered, "Hotohori-sama..." I didn't mean for it to be loud but I guess he herd it because he tensed up.

_Remember even if for just a second ... remember more._

A zing of pain ran threw my chest, and by the looks of it every one felt it too.

_Something's not right with one of us._

I think all of us in the room had that understanding, even if it was not voiced. There was a very awkward silence. My eyes darted to Sai then to Houki. Sai looked like he knew what he was feeling but it scared him. Houki understood as well, she had felt this feeling twice before, when I died and when Hotohori-sama died.

Houki moved closer to me. She was scared. Who wouldn't be to know that someone you know might be dieing.

We looked at each other, "I have to go!!" I said, starting to head towards the door.

"Where?" Houki asked starting to follow me, but I stopped her. I held her back by her shoulders.

I looked at Sai who still had no idea what this feeling was. Then I turned back to Houki, "Can You stay and make sure nothing else happens to him?"

"But you could be next...?"

I shrugged, "It doesn't do me much good being alive if the person I love can't even recognize me."

Hot Tears burned down the side of my face once again.

_I would even be happy settling for the Hotohori –Sama back in Konan who didn't love me, as long as he knew me._

I allowed my hands to fall to my sides, "Can you do this for me?" I asked.

Houki was still for a moment but them finally, she nodded. I signed deeply, letting out all the suspense I had. "Thank you." I said.

I turned to leave but not before giving Hotohori-sama a meaningful look. I headed at a rushed pace threw the hall.

_I have to find Miaka and the others ... Hopefully Sai will be alright. Was that his death? Well I guess he has died in a way. Maybe it was for the better if I actually die. _

I exited the hospital.

_Gods do I hate it in there._

Since I was out of the hospital there was no one to stop me from running. My legs started at a slow pace and ended up going into an all out run. Every other step I took, a sharp pain stung up the side of my leg, but I just ignored it and kept on running.

After about a few Minutes of running I felt my leg give out and I fell to my knees.

_Owww pain ... I don't want to run anymore._

I razed my eyes to see a pale blue house. It was Mits's house; I can never forget it because this is the place where I got the chance to talk to Sai for the first time.

_I miss him._

I got up slowly and limped my way to the door, ringing the door bell. At first there was no answer so I tried again. Finally the door opened to reveal a sad looking Taka. His eyes were very dark and I could see where the tears had been falling.

_Oh god no ... what...?_

I felt my body being collected into a tight embrace. I felt the wetness of his tears on my check. He let out a sob. I returned his embrace asking gently, "What's wrong ...Tama-Chan?"

He let go of me stepping back to reveal a horrible looking Miaka. This scared me, Miaka was my best friend and she was hurting. "Miaka?!?! What is it ... what happened?!?!"

Miaka lowered her head so you could not see her tears. "Mits has gotten worse... Much worse and on ...on top of tha...that Chiri ...ko..."

_Dear god what happened._

"Miaka!!" I gave her a big bare hug. I felt her shake, her cries wracking her delicate form.

Finally Miaka took my arm and led me inside. She led me threw the house ...upstairs ... around a corner...in a room.

There lying on the bed was Chiriko. He looked fine, but if it was making Miaka cry like that, there must be more. I herd deep gags coming from the other room. I winced at the sound. There was also the sound of a voice ... Chichiri's or Shoka's I have no idea, whom ever it was, it was very high pitch, and it could be either one.

Miaka slowly moved to the bed, she turned and motioned for me to follow, her eyes were glossed over with tears. They held all the pain she had ever felt and would bring anyone to tears.

I moved over to her, my eyes also becoming fuzzy with tears. I stopped by her side and she told me the sad story, "Chiriko ... was walking home from cram school and ... and ...**who would do that to a ... an innocent little boy." **She raised her voice slightly clearly showing her anger. "A guy from cram school **killed him."** She had kept her voice steady but chocked her tears back, but now she let them go, "He's dead!!!!"

There is no response for that, we just cried.

After a long while maybe an hour of hugging and sobs. Taka came into the room immediately breaking the mood, sort of. He has a phone in his hands. His hand extending the phone to me he said, "It's your mom."

_Opps I completely forgot ... I haven't been home in a long time, a night and day, to be exact. _

I took the phone and said, "Hi mom."

"Where were you?!?!"

If voices could kill, I'd be dead. I felt bad for making her worry, "Sorry Mom I went out with Miaka and Hoto... I mean Sai and I just passed out at Miaka's ... well not really passed out, but fell asleep."

"Are you sure your ok ... you seem like you've been crying?"

_Parents are mind readers ... they are._

"No mom I haven't been crying" I smiled despite myself.

There was a silence on the other end, "ok well then come home soon, and take care, NEXT TIME CALL US."

"I will ... bye" I turned off the phone. Turning to look at Miaka, she was staring back at me.

"Was she mad?" She asked most likely hopping I wasn't it TO much trouble. She doesn't seem to like when people got in trouble.

I shook my head, rising up from the couch we were on. "I'm fine ... but I would really like to go back to Sai, maybe he'll remember something." She looked up at me hurt in her eyes.

"Someone MUST walk you over to the hospital, you're the last one you know ..." Her voice turned into a whisper "...to die." I looked away.

_Something's not right ... I have a bad feeling._

My head shock from left to right them back again, "I'll be fine." I smile flew over my face. "I'll take the bus ... no one can hurt in there."

_Don't listen ... that smile it's not real can you see that, I'm lying._

Miaka looked hesitant but she finally nodded leading me to the door, "Be careful!" When we reached the front door she wrapped her arms around me, seeing me off.

I walked carefully to the bus station.

_This feeling ... _

Waiting there in the Fall and with out a coat made me shiver.

_Cold ..._

It didn't take to long for a bus to come, going to the hospital. I got on paying my dollar and looked around. All the seats were taken and some were standing. I moved closer to the back of the bus. I grabbed hold of the rail.

The bus started up again, I felt it twist and turn. My mind in a daze thinking about how in a day I could be dead. I was ripped out of my thoughts by a violent jerk. The bus felt like it was tilting to one side. I herd the sounds on crumpling medal crashing one into another.

_Just like a bad dream..._

The bus gave one more violent jerk and then I felt bodies push onto me.

_Am I going to die...?_

...

_My head ...I can think ...I'm not dead ...what happened?_

I opened my eyes, only to squint at the bright sun. I was on the ground outside and I had a face full of green grass. I couldn't move my legs, only my eyes.

It was so ... shinny.

Then a voice came from behind me, "Nuriko-San!" The voice was of Chiriko's but how ...

"I'm dead?!?!" Finally what ever bound me to the earth let go and I was able to move again. I bolted upward and turned around to see the faces of Chiriko, Mits and Hotohori. My eyes widened considerably.

Chiriko giggled, "No, this is merely an illusion made from your mind to escape the harsh realities."

I jumped up onto my feet wanting to hug them all. Hotohori especially. Something stopped me though ... I fell back to the ground covering my body with my hands.

_Why the heck am I naked?!?!?!_

I laughed nervously, a blush spread across my face.

_I'm embarrassed. Even if this is a dream, or "illusion" as Chiriko said._

I looked over all three of them and asked, "So you... you're all gone ... and you're never coming back?"

Mits had on one of his sad faces and Chiriko nodded solemnly.

"Am I alive?"

Hotohori answered this time and I resisted all urges to hug him, "Barely" She flashed me a comforting smile.

_Swoon Swoon_

"Awwwww look Big Brother has a cruuuuussshh" The voice broke me out of my trance.

I turned around to see ..."KORIN!!!" She giggled, and gave me a happy nod.

I completely forgot about the rules my mind was telling me, about my decency, and I got up to go hug Korin. The sight may have looked wrong, but Korin was back ... even if only for this little "Illusion" my mind set up.

I hugged Korin until my happiness died a bit and my sanity returned and I sat down, again, to cover myself.

Korin giggled, "I missed you, but I'm happy I got to see you know."

"Ya, I know how you feel..." I looked around at the other three standing behind me, and as if it had been taken out of some sap happy authors mind, I added, "...all of you, I've missed you, so much."

My body started to feel funny, more ... heavy. I ended up sprawled out on the fresh grass.

_What's happening? Korin...?! Hotohori ...Chiriko ... everyone?_

I let my eyes flutter open. The light was too bright and there was a girl with long purple hair standing over me, "Korin?!"

The girl shook her head, and as my focus became better I could tell who it was, "Houki!?"

"Bingo, how are you felling?"

I nodded, confused at what really to say and do. Then the dream came back. "How's Mits?"

Houki shifted her gaze to my hospital white bed sheets.

_Hospital?!?! Why am in a hospital bed?_

"He's gone..."

I was searching for words when I blurted, "... And Sai?!?!?! How is he??!!?!?!"

Houki smiled and looked over at the bed next to me; there was Sai all well and good, smiling at me.

"You were in a bus accident ... and now I know your blood type."

I was almost as confused as he was when he had amnesia ..., "Huh?"

Houki giggled, "There was a bus coming to the hospital, when it was rounding a corner and a bunch of cars kept coming into it knocking it over. Then they brought you here. Some died; others needed blood, like you."

Houki pointed a finger at Sai, "This guy here has the same blood type as you "O". And he just loves you so much. He had to help."

I looked over at Sai who just smiled. I smiled back.

_He's smiling, but it's different from before more... loving. _

Houki started up again giggling gleefully, "Korin ... he remembers."

I almost bolted up right in bed but my lack of strength stopped me. "Really!?" I squealed happily. I looked over at Sai, "Really?!" He gave me a nod and I thought I would die from happiness.

"Well the thing is..." He began, "I don't remember this life as Sai ... only my last two."

_Brain hurting, I'm soooooo confused. So Sai did die, this is Hotohori who recently couldn't remember ANYTHING. How come I didn't die? _

I let out a contented sigh, "So your back ... for good." My heart soared, but then thought took me again. "How am I alive?!?!" I asked. Then there was a voice outside the door.

It said, "Suzaku brought Tamahome back as Taka, why shouldn't you have a second chance, too." I shifted my eyes and then my head to face the owner of the voice and I smile crossed my lips.

"Miaka!!?!"

She came running over to me and almost fell on my bed, "You said that you'd be careful." Tears were not in her eyes but her voice shock.

I lifted my hand to pat her head. She had her normal hair style on, buns on either side of her head.

I let out a smile, "I'm sorry, but how would I know I'd be in a major bus accident." I joked ruefully. She pulled back smiling happily.

"As long as you're still alive!"

There was a fell moments of silence until it was broken by a ... sweet ... caring ... happy voice saying, "What were ya thinkin' ya nut, what good woulda you dyin' do!"

Miaka moved away from me so I could clearly see the owner of the voice, "I missed you to Tasuki." He was standing at the door with Chichiri and Tamahome. His face scrunched up into a mad pout and he turned to look at Sai, "You ... I herd from Miaka, that you have no clue who the 'ell you are."

He walked up to the former emperor almost laughing in his face.

_This is going to be good._

Tasuki kept on going, "You made Ryu go crazy."

"Ummm Tasuki?" Miaka offered slowly, "I think he remembers."

Tasuki chuckled, "Ya right, the guy was always the slowest out of all of us." He turned to look at us.

"Tasuki I do remember."

Tasuki turned to look at Hotohori who nodded. Tasuki then moved at the speed of light to hide behind Tamahome.

Miaka giggled, "It's like we're all together again ... well almost." her smile fading. "I'm going to be ok now!" After a while she donned a warm smile and hugged me again.

I looked at everyone one by one ... Chichiri ... Tamahome ... Tasuki...Houki...Miaka ...I shifted my gaze to my boyfriend, finally after all these years. I smiled, this time was different.

He sent me a mirror grin.

_I still love him ... he still loves me. Everything will be ok ...this time._

_**The End**_


	2. Authors Note

Authors Note

This is just a thank you to all those who have stayed with my fic. ;; I love you alllllll. XDD All you reviews have helped me soooooo much like:

******luvyuyu** You've stayed with me for the whole thing ... thanks sooo much and I can't wait for your stories to come out .

******Mischa Kitsune****** Thanks so much for your review ... it meant a lot. (I know I made there lives living hells, could be worse though.)

**Mykah Leigh** Ahh an old friend ... Thanks for your review also thanks for putting up with my spelling and grammar ... (I know I suck Oo) I also am waiting for more chappys from you.

**Michelle** Miaka-baka Thanks soooooo much for coming up with the character Spunky . Also letting me use your cell in the story (Houki's cell and Michelle's are the same) Also for letting me use your brother's jeep. (The jeep that killed Korin) See you in school.

Why I have made this chappy story all one because I went over it to fix mistakes like spelling and Stuff, grammar. I also know that I missed some of them. I stared working on "Last Time" and should be posing Chappy one soon.

Thank you .


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